Stuck in a Hold Pattern…

Yesterday, I was in mass, trying to concentrate on the homily of the deacon, but finding myself distracted by my anticipation of breakfast, an oatmeal and coffee from Starbucks, a Sunday ritual Valerie and I have.  What made this weekend more special was that I had purchased enough breakfasts through my Starbucks card to get a free food or drink so that my bill at Starbucks which normally runs $10.00 plus gets reduce to $7.00 plus.  I don’t know why the use of a earned reward excited me so much, the idea of getting something free, the value of which was minimal at best.  However, it got me to thinking about the idea of rewards through purchasing.

It takes twelve purchases which manifest themselves as stars in my virtual cup on my phone to earn one free food or drink.  And I began to wondering in the silent morning hours of a holy Sunday morning, whether or not a purchase in which I redeemed a reward of a free food or drink also counted for the next award of a free food or drink, whether or not I would earn that morning another star to put in my virtual cup. 

And then it dawned on me, if I didn’t already know, that the whole thing was a racket, meant to drive me toward a Starbucks, if not everyday, then every Sunday, to purchase two bowls of oatmeal, a coffee and a kids milk.  I was a slave to a system, a pattern, established by an arbitrary counting system depending upon how many times I walked through Starbucks front door and purchased something.  And it worked like a charm, because every Sunday for weeks now, I have been purchasing two bowls of oatmeal, a container of coffee, and a child’s milk, and will likely do so every Sunday for the foreseeable future. 

Life is nothing but a series of patterns into which we slip so unconsciously.  It is those things around us, those subtle influences which seize us, and install us, like cogs into a grand universal machine.  Ultimately, there is a real question about whether or not we are in fact the masters of our own destiny, or, if in the end, everything that we do and say has already been established, predestined, as Martin Lurther had theorized. 

Of course, Martin Luther believed that predestination occurred on a divine level, that God had already written the book, knew every move that we would take, and, therefore, freedom of choice was a mere chimera, an illusion.  I suspect that we humans have dethroned God from the role of predestinator and have instead formed corporations and think tanks which have share that role now, through the use of media. 

Wayne’s World was a hilarious movie, wonderfully ahead of its time, with its references to cultural trends.  Certainly, everyone remembers the iconic car scene when Wayne and his buddies sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody, something we all have done at one time or another.  One of the other more popular scenes involves Wayne and Garth telling the television producer that they were refusing to engage in the crass practice of promoting a local arcade on their show as a sponsor, all the while, in meta-hilarity manner,  engaging in crass product placement, drinking Pepsi, eating Doritos, all the while smiling at the camera with a goofy grin of guilt.

We are all barraged with a number of images, videos, and audio which anticipate our desires for us, telling us what we want before we even know it ourselves. 

Not that this is a new phenomena.  From the dawn of time, man has been a function of his surroundings.  Why do we sleep at night and work during the day?  I suspect that most people would say that early man sought shelter from the cold and dangers of the night, reserving the day for hunting and gathering.  And from that early choice by one of my ancestors to curl himself in hidden nook resulted in my having to work from nine to five, as most are wont to do.

So the real question I ask is whether or not we continue to live in the systems that have been established, play by the rules of said systems, remain the cog, turning to the time of arbitrary algorithms, or do we break free from the machine, and system, free ourselves from the regularity of timed living, of waking up when the sun rises, eating breakfast, drag ourselves to our work, eat lunch, go back to toil another four to five hours until we drag ourselves home again, to ingest a meal, and then warp our brains with hours of television, until we grow tired of the input, until our brains have to shut down or reboot, or whatever it is that they do.

Writing this now, it occurs that a little bit of Batman’s nemesis, the Joker, speaks through me now, and, that the language above is somewhat inciting, and, perhaps a little dangerous.  But, breaking the system doesn’t necessarily require violent action, only finding methods of avoiding repetition, leaving comfort behind for the uncomfortable and unknown. 

I supposed you would know whether or not you were breaking the system if you began to feel fear, for if you fear something, it is a sure sign that you were engaging in something that you are not comfortable doing.  You don’t need to do something illegal or dangerous though for it to be frightening.  Many people find public speaking frightening, or even extending yourself out to meet someone new.  This is can be a means of breaking the system.

Or if you feel stationary, both physically and mentally stagnate, that might be a sign that you need to take action.  If it is easier not to do it that to do it, perhaps you are stuck in a loop of system requiring you to take the hard way out, and, in doing things the harder way, finding new vistas and horizons.

I know that I talk about my recent weight loss an awful lot.  But it is a recent example of how my perspective shifted and allowing me to leave behind one means of thinking about weight, eating, and exercise, and adopting a new one.  It all started when instead of sitting on a bench watching life pass me by, I entered into the stream.  I have been swimming against the currents ever since, struggle against those who push against me the other way, looking to get up stream.  

I can’t say that I am any happier for the struggle.  I can say that I am more productive, and, in being productive, I feel a value within myself, that I am no longer the victim of repetitious messages, but my own message maker. 

Every morning, I wake up around six o’clock.  I would prefer to wake at seven or eight o’clock.  But because I have to be at work around 9 o’clock and I want to get a good run in the morning, I have to get up at six o’clock.